Find relief by using strategies which work for everyone
If any of you are familiar with my writing, you know that I believe happiness is a natural state of who we really are and to find oneself to be unhappy is to be out of alignment with our true selves. There is no greater environment as the workplace to bring out the worst in ourselves and others and as many surveys and polls show, many people are just plain unhappy at work.
If you are a leader or manager, leading a family, or even a hobby team, then your inner state is an essential factor because whether you like it or not, unless you are a great actor, then many of your team are going to tap into your attitude or state and it will affect them. Your energetic field affects everything on the planet, never mind your team. If you’ve any doubts about this, then watching this great video which demonstrates what Quantum Science is showing us will hopefully help you to see what we already sublimely know: The vibes we give out are felt by everyone.
When you come to realise how important your state of being is for the benefit of your team, family or group, it creates a whole new realisation of responsibility for you as a leader. When I first realised this responsibility a strange thing occurred, I found I was beating myself up at times when I was feeling less than happy: if I was angry, annoyed, feeling sad or any other state than being happy, I started blaming myself. This was another big mistake.
A great book; The Heart of the Soul, by Gary Zukav changed my mind about my feelings forever, when I realised my feelings were simply a guidance system, rather than an indictment of who I really was. So while I absolutely own my feelings and state of mind, I realise that they are just a form of information, telling me that what I believe about myself or others is untrue. That fact turns our habitual approach to our emotions upside down, but when you truly embrace this premise, then your world has changed and empowerment has begun.
I realised that instead of beating myself up from feeling negative emotions, I asked myself empowering questions. I also found that the ability to feel better was entirely in my hands. It is also in yours too.
I realise if you have always been in the habit of pointing the fingers at others who you believe have “made” you feel negative, or you think you’ve no control over your emotions, or even if you’ve suppressed negative emotions for years, then this information might seem hard to believe. What I would say to you though is to remain “open and willing” to at least consider the possibility that the way we’ve been conditioned to view our emotions is outdated, and that there is a better way.
So if it seems that your team are making you tear your hair out, or circumstances seem to be engendering fear, or you just feel eminently sad: What I would say to you is that far from ignoring your feelings, you need to look at them and let them come up, because they are valuable information, telling you to “think again”.
To help you to find better-feeling thoughts at work, here are 4 top tips in commonplace situations which will help you regain a happier state.
- When you aren’t achieving results, instead of focusing on “not achieving results”, find other ways of celebrating success. While it might be a worrying time, find ways to engage your team in an empowering ways to brainstorm ideas. Instead of asking “Why are we not achieving results? Ask “How can we do things differently to achieve the results we need?
- If conflict at work is an issue, then realise that your negative feelings about the situation or the people involved in the conflict is simply your perception or thoughts about the conflict are creating those negative feelings. Let your feelings come up and don’t attach them to the conflict. If you are able to do this, then you are more able to remain emotionally neutral in the face of conflict and thus more likely to respond appropriately instead of reacting to your negative feelings about it.
- I can’t remember where I read that if you are blessing someone, you can’t be mad at them at the same time. If you find yourself disliking or being irritated by someone at work, instead of letting your thoughts run amok in your head about how bad they are, how much you’d like them to leave the company; then just for a few minutes, find ways to appreciate them. At worst you can find momentary relief from your negative thoughts, at best you can see them in a whole new light. Practicing this pivot has made me completely change my view about people.
- If you are overwhelmed by the volume of work or the number of tasks you have to do: there are many practical ways you can help to manage your time. However, even if you’ve the best management system in place if your mind is still concentrating on what you have to do then you will find no relief from the situation. First of all use whatever time management tricks you prefer to get the tasks into some semblance of order, and then whenever you find yourself feeling negatively about the volume of work, either stop thinking about it and turn your thoughts to a situation you enjoy and which will make you smile, or remember situations when you’ve felt overwhelmed in the past and realise it’s only a temporary state and it will pass, or finally in your mind’s eye, envisage yourself having everything under control and imagine what it will feel like when this happens.
So there are 4 of my top tips to find relief from negative feelings at work. You don’t have to be a leader or a manager to practice these, and whatever your role at work, your state will have an impact. So why not be the light to shine on others today!
Do you have any tips or experiences of finding ways to find relief from negative feelings?