Reclaim your mojo after negative experiences knock you down
When traversing a spiritual journey, self-awareness grows because you are acutely aware of the choices you are making. You realise you are able to choose whether to think and act through the ego system, or via your spiritual truth. When life challenges hit, you are more conscious of how negatively you are feeling. You also know you can do something about it, by aligning with your spiritual self to reclaim your mojo.
Your mojo is that essential quality when you feel good and are in the flow of life. You think positively, attract all you want and miraculous things seem to happen. You know you need to reclaim your mojo when you constantly feel down or miserable, or have lost even a little bit of hope. Sometimes feeling this way stems from a sad life event, or simply the day to day stresses of life.
As I explained in my recent article about feeling grief, I have experienced my fair share of loss in my life. In late July last year, I definitely felt good. Many years of spiritual practice meant I felt happy a lot of the time. Where I was feeling less than happy and contentment, I knew I was attracting learning experiences designed to challenge my trust and faith. I remember having a day out with my daughter Donna, we went to see my sister in all but name, my friend of 40 years. We caught up, laughed as we always did, hugged, and then I made my way home. I clearly recall that feeling 0f deep happiness at feeling surrounded by goodness, love and dear people. As I got out the car and went to open my front door, I saw two white feathers.
To me, white feathers are a symbol which shows you are being looked after. Some people believe in angels, other universal energy, others the phenomena of love. Whatever your belief, the demonstration that there is a higher self can result in symbols. So I picked up the white feathers, happily acknowledging they were a symbol of my inner contentment, peace and love. I was so grateful for feeling that way.
From good to devastation
The phone call came the next day. My dear friend had collapsed at work and was rushed to the hospital. After two gut-wrenching days, she passed away, leaving her close family and her vast circle of friends devastated and shocked. For days and weeks afterwards, I was in a complete daze, shocked to the core. At that time, I didn’t for a minute think about how I was going to find my way through this nightmare or think about how I could reclaim my mojo.
I wrote about the concept of “falling up” in my article on resilience. The idea of “falling up” was taken from Shawn Achor’s great book The Happiness Advantage. Achor describes three ways we can react following a crisis or adversity. The first way is to simply go on as we always have. No change is the end result. The second way is to react negatively and attract further negative consequences and so things just get worse and worse. And finally, the third way is where a person uses the crisis or negative event to grow stronger and end up in a happier, wiser place. The third option, “falling up”, is what happens when you reclaim your mojo.
5 practices to reclaim your mojo
My grief since those fateful days in August has varied in intensity. Some weeks I’m able to focus and forget and get on with life and work pretty efficiently and happily. At other times, the sadness is crushing and I’m quite often a nanosecond from bursting into tears at any time, in any situation. Always though instead of feeling that happiness and contentment there has been an underlying feeling of negativity and hopelessness. However, because I’m on a spiritual journey, practice self-awareness and know I have to build back up my muscle of contentment and happiness, I’ve introduced some techniques in my life aimed to get my mojo back. So here I share the 5 daily practices which are helping me to get back to my happy self.
1. Allow your sad feelings to come up and be released
Its no good repressing or denying your feelings. Many of us are actually afraid of negative feelings and so we distract ourselves, indulge ourselves or seek other ways to feel better. All the time those feelings are eating away at your insides and literally creating “disease”. Allowing yourself to feel those negative feelings, knowing that by doing so they will heal, is the answer. To be successful here, you need to allow yourself some quiet time to manage your feelings, otherwise, they will end up managing you. If you really don’t feel safe allowing negative emotions to come up by yourself, then you must seek some professional help to guide you through.
2. Do anything you can to feel better
This might be listening to music, catching up with people or even some “you time”. Pamper yourself, treat others, be kind. While you must allow negative feelings to come up and be healed, you must practice feeling better. With the best will in the world, you can’t go from devastated to joyful on a consistent basis very quickly. So you must make your way up the emotional scale and try to find ways to feel a little bit better every day. Inch by inch, you will reclaim your mojo.
3. Get purposeful
Sometimes a negative experience or a period of stress can strip you of your purpose in life. It’s easy to lose hope, faith and trust. Hopelessness can be countered by having a purpose in life. If you can’t find your life’s purpose, then find a purpose for the next day, or week or month. When my kids grew up, I went through a period of depression, or empty nest syndrome, because bringing them up well had been my purpose for so long. My purpose is now around spiritual growth, and helping others on their path, but it took me a while to realise this. In the meantime, I used to set myself goals and things to do on a shorter term basis, which helped me through the abyss of lack of meaning in my life.
4. Intend your days
Taking some time to think about how you want your day to be, both in the way you are feeling and what you want to get out of your day. Intending your day is a powerful way of deliberately creating your life step by step. A client was dreading a work get together. I asked her to imagine she was driving home from the event. I asked her how she would like to feel and what she would like to be saying to herself about it. Of course, she wanted to feel good and to have self-talk about how great the event had gone.
With this in mind, on the day she found herself giving a spontaneous speech to the team, telling them how great they were and genuinely sending warm feelings of love to them. Not only did she feel good, but her team reported it was the best get together they had ever had. How different than if dread had been her driving force.
5. Take small steps and celebrate success
There is no easy way to reclaim your mojo. The process is successful when you take small and powerful steps to feel better and healing. There will be days when you feel like you’re in reverse mode, and others when you feel you can climb mountains. Always expect progress, but don’t be hard on yourself either. Write down your successes or remember to give yourself a virtual pat on the back about how far you are progressing. Even if you don’t feel good immediately, know you are definitely making a difference and your contentment and happiness will return.
So there are my methods to reclaim your mojo. What are yours? I’d love to read your ideas!