One of the cornerstones of being an effective leader is being genuine. And to be authentic you need to have a good understanding of who you are. That means knowing what makes you tick, and why it makes you tick; more importantly, under which circumstances you perform best. Sometimes you follow the best advice out there. And that advice goes against your self-knowledge. It doesn’t fit with how you work, how you think. By heeding the experts, sometimes you end up fighting yourself.

What Does it Mean to Fight Yourself?

People who fight themselves are often frustrated. They struggle to reach their goals. People who fight themselves find it difficult to get into a good groove. It’s a real challenge to have ideas flow and things connect. People who fight themselves are often unsatisfied. They blindly follow a prescription instead of playing around with possibilities. Because of these struggles, people who fight themselves find many things to be a struggle, a burden.

Brilliant and talented people often fight themselves. They let others tell them how to do things when they know it won’t work for them. Conformity is a way people fight themselves.

How to Stop Fighting Yourself

People who aren’t at war with themselves have an appreciation of their strengths and weaknesses. Their self-knowledge allows them to be more intentional and deliberate in their decision-making.

Start paying attention to when you perform specific tasks when your thoughts start to wonder1 when you can really focus. You might notice that you do your best technical writing in the morning and are better able to do creative thinking in the afternoon.

When you gain better self-knowledge, you’re in a position to structure your day to improve your productivity, creativity, and overall connectedness – with yourself, others, and the work at hand. You stop fighting yourself and you start exploring your talents, abilities, and skills.


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Renée helps business get unstuck. Through business relationship mapping, conflict resolution and leadership development, Renée helps entrepreneurs and businesses understand their ecosystems, identify underutilised resources and opportunities to engage.

Renée works at both ends of the spectrum: from the fun stuff of building excellent teams to dealing with low morale. She helps managers take workplace bullies by the horns, address long standing conflicts, all of the frustrating stuff to harnessing the energy in a conflict to collaborate, innovate, and build better businesses.

Renée is a speaker, trainer, coach and consultant.