Many people think of inspiration as something extraordinary. We picture charismatic leaders, gifted speakers or remarkable achievements. But some of the people who have inspired me most have done none of those things. Sometimes it is simply how somebody makes us feel when we are around them.
Have you ever met someone who made you feel completely seen? Someone who listened without judgement, accepted you without trying to change you, and somehow left you feeling calmer, wiser or more hopeful than before? They may never have offered advice or tried to motivate you, yet simply being in their company changed something within you.
That is the kind of inspiration I mean here. Not impressing people or deliberately trying to inspire them. Simply being the kind of person who can help somebody else see something better in themselves.
The People Who Change Us
One of my best friends passed away unexpectedly nine years before I wrote this series. She was a complete force of nature. We met when we were both in our teens, and so we grew up together and shared many of life’s events. The grief of losing her so suddenly was intense, not just for me, but for everyone who knew her. She was an old soul, wise and caring deeply about people. I always felt totally seen, understood, unconditionally accepted and embraced by her love.
I knew that I was not alone; she just automatically liked people, and she saw the best in them. She made sure they knew she had seen them, that they mattered, and in her eyes, they were OK. Still, even I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and tributes received from hundreds of people whose lives she had touched.
She loved children and made sure they knew they were loved. Both her own children and mine knew she was their biggest cheerleader.
She never stood on a stage. She never gave a speech, and I doubt the word “inspiration” ever crossed her mind. Nine years on, I think I understand much better what she was doing. She wasn’t trying to inspire anybody. She simply saw something good in people and made sure they knew she saw it. Judging by how many lives she touched, that was powerful enough.
That is the kind of inspiration this section is about. Not the kind that performs. The kind that sees the best in others.
What the First Three Foundations Look Like in Real Life
In earlier articles, we have explored the Higher Self, Self-Awareness and Unity Consciousness. This is where those ideas start to show up in ordinary life. Inspiration isn’t another thing we have to learn how to do. In fact, trying to be inspiring rather defeats the point.
As we listen more to the Higher Self, we become less driven by fear. Self-awareness helps us catch some of our old reactions before they run away with us.
Unity Consciousness changes something else. Other people stop being quite so easy to divide into winners and losers, right and wrong, or people we approve of and people we don’t.
These three shifts gradually transform not only the way you think but the way you show up in the world. From the outside, none of this looks dramatic. You interrupt less. You get less rattled in difficult conversations. What you say and what you do start matching more often.
People Notice When Something Doesn’t Ring True
We pick up a surprising amount from each other without consciously thinking about it. We notice tone of voice, facial expressions and body language, and we notice when something doesn’t quite add up. If you’ve ever watched someone whose body language doesn’t match their words, then you know what I mean.
Somebody can tell us they are perfectly happy while every part of them seems to be saying otherwise. We tend to believe what we are picking up rather than the words. The reverse is true too. When somebody genuinely means what they say, we usually sense that as well.
Research into emotional contagion, social signalling and co-regulation suggests that our emotional states can influence one another, often without our consciously noticing how. The terminology isn’t particularly important here. The practical point is that what we bring into an interaction matters.
When what we believe, say and do broadly match, we don’t have to work at appearing genuine. We simply are.
When Life Starts to Feel Different
One of the most significant things I have discovered is that life itself begins to feel different.
For me, listening more closely to my Higher Self didn’t magically make life easier. What it did was gradually make some things clearer. I became better at recognising what mattered to me, when fear was making the decision and when something felt worth pursuing even when there was no obvious reward for doing it. I knew the difference between feeling inspired to take action and when it was best to leave things alone. When I have gone ahead and bought something or pursued a relationship without feeling inspired, it has taught me when I need to stop.
It also changes the question. Instead of only asking, “What do I want?” I increasingly find myself asking, “What would be good for everyone involved?”
This doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself for others. Sometimes the answer will still be to say no, walk away or put a firm boundary in place. The difference is that somebody else doesn’t have to lose for me to feel that I have won.
What We Give Other People
This brings me back to my friend. What she gave people wasn’t advice or wisdom delivered from on high. She gave them her attention and her acceptance.
When we can put our own judgements to one side for a moment and really see the person in front of us, they may leave the conversation feeling a little more accepted or a little more hopeful. We haven’t fixed them or changed them. We have simply given them room to be themselves. That is exactly what my friend did for me and, I discovered after she died, for an extraordinary number of other people too.
That does not mean every interaction will have this effect, or that we are responsible for how another person feels.
The Effect We Don’t Always See
Most of us will never know the effect of all the small interactions we have with people. A conversation can make somebody feel judged or understood. We can add to a difficult moment or make it slightly easier. Most of the time, we will never know which we did.
A small kindness might change somebody’s day. Giving someone the benefit of the doubt might stop an argument from escalating. Seeing more in somebody than the behaviour they are displaying might help them see more in themselves too.
And perhaps that is all inspiration really needs to be. Somebody leaves our company feeling a little more accepted, hopeful or able to be themselves. We may never even know we had that effect.
Be the kind of person who can help somebody else see something better in themselves.
Try This: A Short Reflection
Find a few quiet minutes and bring to mind the person whose presence has most changed you. Not the most impressive person you’ve known, the one who made you feel most yourself.
Picture a specific moment with them. Where were you? What did they do or say, or not say? Notice how you felt walking away.
Now ask yourself: what was it about how they were, rather than what they did, that reached you?
Finally, turn it around. Somewhere in your life is a person for whom you could offer the same quality of presence. In your next conversation with them, try giving them your full attention: no advice unless it is asked for, no rushing to fix, and notice what happens in them and in you.
To better understand how we inspire others, it’s worth looking next at the distinction between motivation and inspiration.
Continue Exploring
Living From Your Higher Self is a journey of understanding and practice. These ten articles are designed to be read in any order, but together they provide a complete framework for living with greater peace, purpose and self-awareness.
Foundations
- The Journey
- The Higher Self
- Self-Awareness
- Unity Consciousness
- Inspiring Self and Others (Current)
Living the Philosophy
Articles In Inspiring Self and Others
Inspiring Self and Others: Living in a Way That Calls Forth the Best in Everyone
- The Difference Between Motivation and Inspiration
- What You Are Really Chasing Is a Feeling
- Characteristics of Inspirational People
- Why Trying to Inspire Never Works
- What Happens When Nobody Needs To Win
Enjoyed This? . This Essential Guide brings the whole framework together in one place, free to download.
