One of the most straightforward and valuable tools to use as a coach is the Wheel of Life. This is an excellent introductory aid to help clients understand what area of their lives needs more focus. The wheel also helps people identify areas where they can feel gratitude when things are going well.
One of the portions of the wheel is around your relationship with your higher self. Your higher self is your inner core, which is divine. Connecting to your higher self requires willingness and effort. Building a relationship with your higher self is like building muscle. It will fade and remain weak if you don’t put in enough time or effort to develop your connection.
While I don’t subscribe to religious doctrine, I advocate having some daily rituals or practices that help open one’s mind to one’s higher self and deepen one’s understanding of one’s actual or spiritual self.
Stages of Connection
Connecting to your higher self will necessitate spiritual growth. How to Know God by Deepak Chopra describes several stages of awareness in our spiritual journey. In all of these stages, we need to programme our brains differently. By programming our brains differently, we can break down the barriers that prevent us from being in touch with our higher selves. Broadly speaking, the stages are:
- Fight-or-Flight Response
- Reactive Response
- Restful Awareness Response
- Intuitive Response
- Creative Response
- Visionary Response
- Sacred Response
Building Your Connection
There are many paths to your higher self, and A Course in Miracles discusses six stages of awakening. The premise of ACIM is to undo the ego (the opposite thought system to your higher self) and to end existential guilt. ACIM is a highly loving text, although it is not for the faint-hearted, and the timing has to be right to delve into this. Your intuition will guide you here. However, according to ACIM, the stages to achieve these aims and build your connection to your higher self are:
- Undoing – removing the remnants of the ego thought system
- Sorting out – deciding what is valuable to you and what is not
- Relinquishment – giving up those perceptions which do not serve you
- Settling Down – you find a way through to your higher self
- Unsettling – you are challenged by your ego thought system
- Achievement – consolidation occurs, and you are connected to your higher self.
Whatever your particular path, sometimes progress isn’t always linear. For you to connect more strongly to your higher self, you sometimes have to take a backward step. There are times you may feel you are back where you began! To stay in touch with your higher self, certain daily practices can help keep you on track, remind you of your progress, and deepen your understanding.
1. Read or listen to teachings
It’s challenging to recommend Teachings in books or audio because everyone’s path to their higher self is unique. Just be guided by your intuition and see what resonates with you. In the past, I’ve felt deeply excited when ordering books, which I have felt guided to read. The trick here is not to worry too much as to whether you are choosing the correct teaching. Sometimes, what you read or listen to doesn’t resonate.
One reason may be that you are not ready for the teaching. I had A Course of Miracles on my bookshelf for almost 8 years before I wanted to study it. Another reason might be you are being shown contrast so you can decide a particular teaching is not an idea or a path for you. The important thing is to get started to connect to your higher self.
2. Write a daily journal
I cannot stress enough how powerful the habit of writing is in making a strong connection to your higher self. Buy a special notebook which is for your eyes only. This notebook will serve as a communication tool between you and your higher self. You can use your journal to write how you are feeling. If you think negatively, you can use your journal to pivot your thoughts and ideas until you feel more peaceful. Write down inspirations when they come to you. Get busy with writing down situations and people you feel grateful for. Developing gratitude in this way brings much good to you. Ask questions of your higher self by writing them down. Sometimes, you will be inspired to write the answers; at other times, the answer will pop into your mind.
3. Pay attention to your dreams
Carl Jung, the Swiss psychoanalyst, developed the theory that dreams can be messages from our subconscious minds. He believed dreams provide symbols to help us identify ideas, beliefs, and observations from this hidden part of ourselves. A more profound theory is that people who appear in our dreams are simply aspects of ourselves we must become aware of. Dream interpretation often isn’t a practice you can be an expert at immediately. However, with some patience and will, your dreams can recharge your connection to your higher self by helping you to learn more about yourself. Use your journal to record significant dreams and allow yourself time and space to decipher what they mean. Like all higher intuition, your dreams are helpful and benevolent. If you experience nightmares, these are more about your fears coming to the surface.
4. Keep order
It’s difficult to remain connected to your higher self if you are distracted, confused, or focused on other things. If you keep order in your environment, either at home or at work, it is easier to relax, connect with your higher self, and undertake regular practices. If you have a personality whereby you like order and organisation, this will be easier than if your personality likes spontaneity and detests being orderly. Introduce a simple practice of keeping correspondence up to date. Clear away clutter and items you don’t use. Tidying up every morning or evening helps keep your mind focused and at peace. Keep a “things to do” list, and ensure you get into the habit of crossing off your priorities daily.
5. Meditate
I used to struggle with the practice of meditating until I realised two things. Firstly, clearing my mind of thoughts and activity was soothing and helped to interrupt negative thought patterns. It’s like running a constant race, feeling breathless consistently, and experiencing relief when you stop. This first realisation made me understand that I didn’t have to achieve great things through meditation. As a result, I relaxed.
The second aha moment came when I realised there was very little chance of me connecting with my higher self when my mind was in overdrive on the mundane. The ego thought system is definitely in charge most of the time. Meditation means I stop listening to the ego and open my mind to my higher self. There is no right or wrong about how you meditate, but do persevere. You will reap the benefits eventually.
So, here are my five recommendations for building your connection to your higher self; what are yours?
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I help leaders develop self- mastery, helping them to become confident in their own inner guidance.
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