Throughout my life, I have had to re-evaluate my personal values.  When I was younger, I often had a strong emotional reaction to anyone who dared to demonstrate conflicting values. I still have an emotional reaction when my higher self values seem to be ignored.  However, I now have the wisdom to recognise that everyone has different values. When I have a strong emotional reaction, it means I have something to learn, not to take issue with.  In this article, I want to discuss living in alignment with your personal values, as well as what can be learned when your values are ignored or when others hold different values.

There is no doubt that the world is currently experiencing a profound crisis in values.  Polarised views and different ways of perception are coming to the fore.  I believe this is because we are being asked to find out what is important to us.  Once we decide, the conflict will begin to dissipate, although it will never completely disappear.

It may seem that there is little we can do at a global level.  However, if you can view the situation as a call to you to recognise and live in alignment with your personal values, then you will find a route through.

How We Develop Personal Values Throughout Life

As we live and grow, our values are shaped by our family setup, our experiences, and our perceptions and beliefs.   When we are children, many of our values are adopted from our family situation.  Growing up can result in much conflict as we challenge and question those values.   Living in alignment with your personal values means you first have to recognise those values, which many people find difficult.  When you have done the work to identify what is important to you, then you can navigate life by those values.

Neuroscience And Personal Values

Values are not just idealistic concepts; our brain activates our reward pathways, releasing dopamine and serotonin when we are living in harmony with our core values.  When this is the case, we feel good, we have a sense of well-being, and all is right with the world.

When our values are violated either by ourselves or others, the brain’s stress response is activated.  Levels of cortisol are increased, and we can feel anxiety, frustration and inner conflict.

Therefore, living in alignment with your personal values is not only good for your well-being but also reduces the likelihood of experiencing stress.

Your Higher Self and Values

Your higher self is more neutral about values.  It knows that everyone has different values.  Therefore, when you feel a strong negative emotion when someone appears to violate or ignore your values, it is a message from your higher self, asking you to learn not to respond negatively.  When you are aligned with your higher self, your true nature is in alignment with values such as unity consciousness, acceptance and forgiveness of others.   As you uncover your ego and grow towards the values of your higher self, you may change your perception of your values and those of others.  Your higher self recognises that we are all on the path to higher consciousness, and that along the way, our values will be set and changed according to our understanding.

Your higher self knows that your own and others’ values should not be judged.  Even if you have a strong emotional reaction when witnessing other conflicting values in motion.  From your higher self perspective, it is helpful to view values, whether you agree with them or not, as a means to learn.  One way I was able to do this is by considering my values and asking whether they are working or not in my life.   This approach is particularly useful when you see others with entirely different values.  Do they work for them or not? This is a distinctly different approach that aligns with your higher self and steers clear of judgment.  It is an approach that encourages curiosity and acceptance.

The Paradox of Living in Alignment with Your Values and Letting Go

Values offer guidance, but clinging too tightly to them can become controlling. When fear or pride drives our attachment, we risk using values to judge rather than grow.

Living in alignment with your personal values calls for both commitment and flexibility. If a value causes anxiety or harsh self-talk, pause and reflect:

  • Does it still feel true?
  • Is it helping or harming?
  • Can I meet it with curiosity instead of control?

Letting go does not mean abandoning your values. It means holding them lightly, with honesty and compassion.

Authenticity is Key

We are all being called to reflect on what really matters. Living in alignment with your personal values is not just a spiritual practice, but a radical act of authenticity in a world that often rewards conformity.

Your Higher Self does not demand that you be perfect. It simply asks you to be true. And when you live from that place, your values become more than beliefs. They become the bridge between who you are and the life you are here to create.

  • About the Author
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I help leaders develop self- mastery, helping them to become confident in their own inner guidance.

I collaborate with leadership experts, managers and HR professionals to help them get their own message and unique services and products to a wide audience.

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