Effective leaders must align their employees’ beliefs and values with the organisation’s overall goals and vision. Leaders must also find a way to inspire their teams and create a team effort built on mutual respect. If you are a leader, putting aside your ego is an essential requisite for a true team effort. Coaches and mentors can often support leaders in getting the results they need.
Putting Aside Your Ego
Gone are the days when leaders led from the top to enhance their leadership ego. Gone are the old days of command and control and being the oracle or fount of all knowledge. In today’s world, leaders understand that it is the combined effort of all that creates really great results. This involves an environment where inspiration, trust, and responsibility are shared across teams, and everyone contributes.
To achieve this culture, leaders need to listen at a deeper level and nurture their team’s skills and expertise. Understanding different learning styles and preferred ways of tackling tasks and projects is a crucial element of putting aside your ego when leading. While each team member should be responsible for achieving results, their approach to getting there may differ significantly from what you want. Their way of ‘being’ in the world may vary and be more effective than yours.
A Collective Effort
To illustrate this, I can share an experience that taught me a great deal about shedding the leadership ego.
I was the owner/director of a medium-sized language school in Brighton some years ago. I had run this school for twelve years and had been quite successful. I led a team of five full-time teaching staff and four part-time admin and marketing staff. One of my team members was a very astute and capable woman who did things entirely differently from me. Her style was often more effective than mine in her role as Director of Studies. I found myself thinking that I knew best and that, after all, this was my school. How wrong I was.
I had engaged a coach. Through a challenge from my coach, I could see that my ego was definitely in charge. I engaged my Director of Studies in a one-on-one discussion and listened. I discovered that not only was she highly effective, but she also had other ideas that significantly contributed to the business. She became so valuable that I could hand her over when I took a holiday and left the school in her capable hands.
Leadership Behaviours
If we allow our egos to get in the way of effective leadership, we cannot expect to grow others and tap into their knowledge and expertise. Learning about leadership is all very good, but we must understand and demonstrate those behaviours to be a true leader. This is where I believe coaching plays such a valuable part in enhancing leadership behaviours because often, with solo introspection, it’s challenging to identify when the ego is, in fact, in charge.
Part of the leadership role is also being able to self-manage, so you are flexible, optimistic, and reliable. When nurtured, these qualities make an effective leader approachable, motivational, and highly regarded.
Social Awareness
A high level of social awareness is essential. This involves putting yourself in others’ shoes and identifying their needs and concerns. It’s critical to understand the employee’s background and circumstances. As a leader, you must adapt your behaviour to allow employees to express their views. They need to be able to take ownership and responsibility for tasks and solutions. It is crucial to see the potential and collaborate with them as equals in developing this ability to self-manage. By doing so, you will be better able to focus on your role and avoid the temptation to micromanage. Your staff will learn and grow under your guidance as a role model, developing their emotional intelligence and creating a solid team with increased social awareness.
Time to Think
In today’s fast-paced technological world, we often fail to listen or take the time to think things through. In her excellent book Time to Think, Nancy Kline states, “The quality of our listening will determine the quality of our thinking.” Listening to others and hearing what they say without judgment or assumptions is a great skill. Listening well can enable others to achieve a clarity of thought that enhances their motivation and engagement.
Conversations, particularly one-to-one conversations, are at their most powerful when there is mutual respect. They invite both parties to challenge their assumptions. The most exciting discussions occur at the edge, where disagreements and ideas are discussed honestly and openly. When leaders work on the edge of the unknown, others are drawn in, and they are more likely to find it authentic.
Authentic Conversations
So, how do leaders create honest, authentic, assumption-free conversations and invite edgy dialogue? In short, how do they begin to lose their leadership ego?
Leaders create ego-free, authentic conversations by being open and receptive to others. They listen to what is essential to their teams and tease out ideas and suggestions. This then enables each individual to grow and increases confidence. When employees are motivated, confident, and fully engaged, they make more informed and effective decisions. This leads to greater productivity and bottom-line results.
