“Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of being.”
Goethe
You Get What You Expect
The Pygmalion Effect, famously demonstrated in Rosenthal and Jacobson’s experiment, showed how expectations shape reality. Teachers were told that certain randomly chosen pupils were likely to excel. Over eight months, those students outperformed their peers, not because of inherent ability, but because of the teachers’ belief in them. The teachers’ positive expectations, expressed subtly through attention, encouragement, and patience, changed how the students saw themselves and what they achieved.
This is living proof of Goethe’s insight: when we treat people as if they are capable of more, they often rise to meet that vision.
Relationships Built on Belief
Every relationship, personal or professional, flourishes when it is infused with belief, respect, and empathy. When we approach others with expectation and trust, we create a space where they feel safe to grow. That doesn’t mean overlooking harmful behaviour or compromising our values, but it does mean recognising the potential in others, even when they fall short.
Empathy plays a key role here. By seeing someone not just for who they are today, but for who they are capable of becoming, we meet them with compassion rather than judgment. That compassionate stance often allows others to reconnect with their own values and higher potential.
Holding to Values While Expecting the Best
One of the hardest challenges is believing in people when they let us down. Values are the backbone of meaningful relationships, and when someone violates them, it is natural to feel hurt or defensive. Yet growth, both ours and theirs, comes from choosing forgiveness, or at least holding space for the possibility that they can change.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing poor behaviour. Instead, it’s about refusing to let disappointment harden us. By continuing to see the good in others, we strengthen our own integrity and remind ourselves that we, too, are works in progress.
Personal Growth Through Expectation
Goethe’s words are not only about how we treat others; they are also a mirror for how we treat ourselves. If we hold ourselves with belief, empathy, and high expectations, we unlock more of our potential. And as we grow, we naturally inspire those around us to grow too.
When we expect the best from people and hold firm to our values while doing so, we create relationships built on trust, respect, and mutual growth. In that way, treating people as if they were what they ought to be is not just a philosophy; it is a practice of leadership, empathy, and personal transformation.
