Like learning to drive, leading and managing people is an experiential journey. On this journey, leaders get to learn a lot about themselves. They learn how the way they think, how they manage emotions and whether their inner dialogue serves them or not. Without a doubt experience leading a team creates a growth mindset, including a willingness to learn and become more self-aware. Higher self leaders will have personally grown whether in a work or a domestic environment. Here we discuss the attitudes of higher self leaders.
My entrance onto the leadership stage was when I was promoted into the role, having stood in for the team leader from time to time Although I had practised leading people I hadn’t experienced it properly until I had to do it for real. Having the dexterity, personal capability and experience to successfully lead a team took a long time to develop. Although I had pretty reasonable interpersonal skills to start with. Unfortunately, these skills did not equip me to deal with the complexities I faced at times. And so I had to continually learn.
leaders emerge at different stages
People get into leadership roles at different stages in their lives. They often aren’t emotionally intelligent leaders because they haven’t had the experience of leading and managing people. You can’t learn to operate from your higher self from a leadership or management textbook.
Junior leaders are appointed because they have displayed leadership skills or are proficient in the specific field they are in. Some senior leaders may have initially had a most distinguished career as a professional. Perhaps a doctor, lawyer or accountant and then they’ve gone on to lead people with the same specialism. An entrepreneurial business owner may be extremely successful and have acquired commercial business acumen and savvy long before they employ and lead people. Their level of people skills will often determine their success as a leader or not. The most successful entrepreneur or mature professional may find the going very tough indeed if they have not honed their leadership from their higher self.
People skills and emotional intelligence
One of the most impactful people skills is emotional intelligence. Wikipedia describes emotional intelligence as” the ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of oneself, of others, and of groups.” If you’ve ever been in an office where you have seen people have tantrums of a two-year-old or the rumour mill is the most reliable communication channel, or there is a prevalent blame culture, then you know that the skills of the emotionally intelligent are somehow lacking. Even worse, if conflict is commonplace, and your people aren’t firing on all cylinders or even are openly disengaged then you may have a problem which stems from limited or poor emotional intelligence. All is not lost, however, because emotional intelligence can be developed, it just takes experienced emotionally intelligent leaders to show the way.
Emotional intelligence is one of the key skills of higher self leaders. This is because they can allow, identify, assess and regulate emotions to get the best possible outcome.
Attitudes of higher self leaders
I have worked with and supported many leaders. I have led and managed teams locally, regionally and nationally. During this time, I practised and observed attitudes and behaviours which have been the most successful in getting the best out of a team. These attitudes and behaviours are most commonly adopted by leaders who are tapped into their higher selves. They have experienced and strived to find ways that actually work. As a result, they have the best people skills.
The Nine Attitudes are:
1. Accepting People AS THEY ARE
They realise that every person is unique, and we all bring different strengths and challenges. While they may help people develop skills and strategies to make life and their work-life work for them better, they do not try to change their basic personalities or characteristics. They actively enjoy the myriad of diverse points of view and ways of working which make life a rich seam of possibilities.
2. Seeing the good in others
They know that everyone has a good core, even when someone is showing up very differently. These leaders work tirelessly to help that person bring out their true nature which has a solid basis for good. They understand that others have a higher self, they may just not be tapping into it. That’s not to say they put up with poor behaviour, but they understand that when people know better they do better.
3. Staying grounded when facing negativity
They do not take negativity from others personally. Also, they are able to face the worst feedback and find ways to get back to their core of peace. They help others to do the same. This is achieved by not being attached to perceptions or outcomes while still being connected enough to want to solve negativity and pivot to a more positive position.
4. Not Judging
This is one of the hardest attitudes to develop. We are judging everything all of the time whether it be people or situations or ourselves. Higher self leaders don’t judge to the extent they label situations good or bad, but they helpfully assess whether something works or not. This actually prevents labelling, or creating negative energy and helps stay in solution mode when tackling problems.
5. Giving others the benefit of the doubt
The ego thought system loves making up stories. Why did that person not do their work well? For what reason did they stay off for 3 weeks? Why did they do that? Our ego likes to fill in the gaps. Higher self leaders will always give people the benefit of the doubt until they clearly find evidence to the contrary. Even if they find evidence that the person is not operating at their higher self, they do not judge. The truth is the majority of people are trying to do their best. They may find behaviours that don’t work, but these leaders know that at the core people are simply trying to get through life the best they can.
6. True Listening
They operate from level 5 of Keogan’s model in that they have the ability to observe themselves and others. They are able to put aside their own personality and way of operating to truly understand another. Additionally, they know that everyone has different needs and responses. Everyone has had different experiences and as a result, their worldview is unique. They know that only by truly listening can they be helpful.
7. Helping others communicate from their own higher self
They personally respond neutrally to anger or other attacking behaviour. They know that people are operating from the part of the brain which does not bring out the best in them. Where possible, they help others reframe their anger or attack in a positive way. They always attempt to communicate with others from their higher self, and resolutely continue as far as they can.
8. Attempt to always achieve a positive outcome
They think and behave win/win. They know that there is always a solution, even if that is to give others and certain situations the space to rise up and play out. So their end game is always to achieve a positive outcome, no matter how long it takes.
9. Caring about People
They understand that we are all connected and so the act of caring for others impacts them. They maintain the ability to care about people even when they are difficult. Not only that, but they realise that getting annoyed, or angry with another is what makes them feel bad. When they can remain kind and caring in all situations, they remain at peace with themselves. They are also in a strong position to help others through their caring, concern and kindness.
Adopting the attitudes
Depending on your ability to stay connected to your higher self, adopting these attitudes might sound unrealistic, given some of the “difficult” people you might be leading. If you are able to practice these attitudes of higher self leaders, the people problems which keep you awake at night will disappear.
Unfortunately, we aren’t born with an instruction manual. Navigating and improving our own higher self often comes through our own life experiences and self-reflection. The good news is there are some clear and easy steps to tapping into these attitudes of higher self leaders.
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I help leaders develop self- mastery, helping them to become confident in their own inner guidance.
I collaborate with leadership experts, managers and HR professionals to help them get their own message and unique services and products to a wide audience.