Overview
This article explores authentic leadership through a real-life coaching story. It highlights how self-awareness, attitude, transparency, and ethics can transform workplace relationships. Practical insights and principles demonstrate how authentic leaders cultivate trust, foster respect, and develop positive cultures where every role matters, communication is genuine, and people thrive together.
Introduction
Many years ago, I worked with a client who was considering starting her own business. She possessed many talents and interests, offering a wealth of opportunities. Part of the process of discovering what she wanted to do was to explore her current employment situation. Clearly, she had a problem with her relationship with her boss. Over the weeks we worked together, we were able to transform this relationship and the way we achieved this turns out to be at the heart of authentic leadership.
What is Authentic Leadership?
Authentic leaders emphasise a leadership style that emphasises self-awareness, transparency, and ethical behaviour. According to Northouse (2016), authentic leaders are genuine, honest, and focused on building strong relationships with their followers. They lead with a sense of purpose that is grounded in their values and beliefs and are committed to developing themselves and their followers.
Key Characteristics of Authentic Leadership
While there are many factors which describe authenticity. There are some key characteristics of authentic leadership involved in the situation with my client. These are:
1. Self-awareness: Key to authentic leadership
At the heart of authentic leadership is self-awareness. Authentic leaders possess a profound understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, and core values. They are willing to be vulnerable and transparent, acknowledging their flaws and weaknesses. This level of self-awareness enables authentic leaders to build strong relationships with their followers, as they can relate to them on a personal level.
2. The right attitude: A factor in authentic leadership
Apart from self-awareness, the right attitude is also a critical factor in leadership. Authentic leaders approach their work with a positive attitude and a growth mindset. They are committed to learning and growing, both personally and professionally, and they encourage their followers to do the same.
3. Transparency: A cornerstone of authentic leadership
Authentic leaders are transparent in their actions and decisions. They communicate openly and honestly with their followers, sharing their thought processes and explaining their choices. This transparency builds trust and respect among followers, creating a sense of loyalty and commitment between the leader and the organisation.
4. Ethics: The foundation of authentic leadership
Authentic leaders are deeply committed to ethical behaviour. They hold themselves to a high standard of integrity, treating others with priority and fairness. They prioritise the wellbeing of the organisation and its followers above personal gain, and they are willing to make difficult decisions that align with their values and beliefs.
Applying The Principles Of Authentic Leadership
Turning back to my client. Her work environment seemed to be causing her much anxiety. One of the biggest “thorns” in her workplace was her boss. She knew she was really good at her job. Nevertheless, he overlooked her for promotion and opportunities. She observed that her boss was quite formal. He appeared to treat her differently from others. She told me about a couple of occasions when others had got great work projects and pay raises. Despite her obvious skills, my client wasn’t considered. Clearly, her relationship with her boss was the main issue for her at work.
Feeling Isolated
The relationship between one particular colleague and the boss made her completely see red. Her boss had a particularly great working relationship with the other female colleague. Even the little things, like her boss saying “good morning” with gusto to this lady, felt like a rejection of my client. Observing her boss sharing a laugh and joking with a colleague made my client feel left out, isolated, and unappreciated.
Changing the Lens
When I asked my client to tell me what she thought of her boss, she happily let loose on her frustration. She rattled away about his ability to be divisive, unfair, have favourites, unappreciative, and moody. This list was long, and I felt her frustration, disappointment, and sense of being taken advantage of.
I then asked her to put herself in her colleague’s shoes and to think about how she might describe him, given the relationship she had with him. The light, even at this early stage, began to dawn. She started using words like “friendly,” “likeable,” “amusing,” “appreciative,” and many more, which were the opposite of her own view. I then asked her if she had ever considered that her colleague might have a more successful relationship with their boss because she saw him in a more positive light.
Attitude Sets The Tone
I assigned my client a task to go to work and view her boss through the eyes of her colleague. Then, to self-observe what happened. I knew this exercise would begin a shift in her narrative about her boss, but even I didn’t anticipate the transformation she experienced.
At the next session, she told me how amazed she was at the difference she found with him when her attitude towards him changed. Without even saying anything to him. She said he started off smiling at her and began stopping by to chat with her now and then. He even took her into his office to tell her what a remarkable job she was doing. The penny had dropped. She learned a valuable life lesson. Our attitudes play a pivotal role in forming relationships. Authentic leadership is born of such understanding.
Authentic Leadership And Relationships
Bringing authentic leadership to relationships is a crucial aspect of building strong and meaningful connections with others. It requires honing self-awareness, adopting the right attitude, behaving transparently, and acting ethically. By embodying these traits, individuals can develop trust and rapport with others, creating a positive and productive relationship. This is the switch my client made, which transformed her relationship with her boss. This is how she applied the key aspects of authentic leadership to achieve this transformation.
Self Awareness
She viewed the situation from a different perspective, thereby enhancing her self-awareness. Self-awareness is the first step in bringing authentic leadership to relationships. It involves understanding oneself, including one’s strengths, weaknesses, values, and beliefs. With self-awareness, individuals can better understand how they impact others and adjust their behaviour accordingly. This level of self-awareness also enables individuals to be more empathetic and understanding of others, resulting in improved communication and rapport.
The Right Attitude
With a change of attitude towards her boss, she was able to see him in a different light. The right attitude is another essential component of authentic leadership in relationships. A positive attitude and growth mindset encourage personal and professional development, both in oneself and in others. It fosters an atmosphere of encouragement and support, where individuals can thrive and achieve success.
Transparency
She dropped her mask of negativity and opted for a more open and freeing way of relating with her boss. Her ability to set aside her past attitude and communicate more openly demonstrated that she could practice greater transparency. Transparency is crucial in building trust and rapport in relationships. It involves open communication and honesty, sharing thoughts and decisions, and accepting feedback. By being transparent, individuals can foster a sense of trust and respect, which in turn leads to stronger connections with others.
Ethics
Finally, she altered her own behaviour, giving her boss the benefit of the doubt and seeing him in a positive light. She understood her part in creating the relationship. Instead of blaming or doubling down on her initial attitude, she took the initiative to do her part in repairing the relationship. In this way, she applied an ethical stance towards the relationship. Acting ethically is a cornerstone of authentic leadership in relationships. It involves treating others with respect and integrity, prioritising the wellbeing of others and the relationship above personal gain. Ethical behaviour creates a sense of trust and respect, which leads to stronger connections and positive relationships.
What Gets In The Way Of Authentic Relationships?
Human relationships are one of the most fertile, challenging and rewarding areas for developing self-awareness. Relationships are the best training ground for authentic leadership. Being aware of and actively improving relationships, both within and outside the workplace, is the cornerstone of significant leadership development. And authentic leadership. Relationships must be appreciated for the learning opportunities they hold.
The problem is that we often look at relationships through the wrong lens. We use relationships to gauge our own or others’ self-worth, or we use them as if there is a hierarchy of good and bad people. We use them to suffer rather than celebrate.
In the workplace, the extent of our discussions about relationships is often limited to those related to contractual terms and conditions. These overlook one of the fundamental essentials for authentic leadership: personal relationships, and I don’t mean romantic ones.
If only we could grasp the fact that relationships are learning opportunities that increase the likelihood of authentic leadership, then we would create a much better world and lay the groundwork for more effective and caring authentic leadership.
Authentic Attitudes To Relationships
For me, some of the authentic leadership lessons that human relationships hold are:
- Love as our natural state: Treat everyone with kindness, equality, and respect — love is our deepest truth.
- Judgment reflects the self: What we dislike in others often mirrors ourselves. Awareness leads to empathy and forgiveness.
- Thoughts are transparent: Others sense what you think of them. Maintain an honest and constructive inner dialogue.
- Avoid projecting your script: Listen authentically and with openness, allowing others to show who they really are.
- Heal fear with trust: Fear creates attack and defensiveness. Replacing fear with self-trust restores peace.
- See equal value in all: Everyone has both light and shadow. What matters is choosing love over fear.
- Perception is incomplete: Accept that your view of others is never absolute. Stay humble and compassionate.
- Judgment requires boundaries: Withholding judgment doesn’t mean tolerating harm. Protecting yourself is part of wisdom.
- Recognise interdependence: No one stands alone. Our wellbeing is tied to our connection with others.
- Love is the ultimate force: When we stay open, love always reveals itself — it is the power that heals and unites.
Authentic Leadership Principles
Authentic leadership can flourish when it is known that
- Every role matters: All contributions are essential. Everyone is valued for the part they play.
- Equal human worth: On a deeper level, every person has equal value, regardless of role or status.
- Respect across time: Honour past, present, and future employees by fostering healthy workplace relationships.
- Quality of dialogue: How teams view and speak about each other shapes culture. Choose respect and care.
- Relationships as a foundation: Strong relationships drive both growth and success in business.
- Leaders set expectations: People rise to the level of what leaders believe about them. Authentic leadership calls forth the best.
- Authentic communication: Communication should always be open, honest, and two-way.
- Encourage self-awareness: Support individuals in learning about themselves to unlock their full potential.
- Foster curiosity about others: Broaden understanding by encouraging genuine interest in colleagues’ perspectives and experiences.
- Build a culture of growth: Value people not only for what they do, but for who they are becoming.
This situation demonstrates how the four traits of authentic leadership (self-awareness, the right attitude, transparency, and ethics) can repair a key relationship in the workplace. By applying these traits, the individual was able to rebuild trust and respect, creating a positive and productive relationship.
