Are you thoughtful about making promises? Do you intend to keep the promises you make? Here, we discuss the distinction between how you make promises and when you keep promises.
An Empty Promise
I want to share my ideas based on an expression I recently crafted, which goes as follows:
Intention without action is a promise made – intention WITH action is a promise kept!
Many years ago, the chairman of the company to which I sold one of my businesses came to my house. He was a charming man who excelled at building rapport with people in just a few seconds, and many would have described him as charismatic. During a conversation with my wife, he asked for the date of her birthday and then made a show of noting it in his notebook.
Wow! I thought. He cares about the people in the businesses that his company has acquired. I bet my wife, Sharon, will receive a card or a small present on her birthday. Did she? No! Nothing, no card, no present, no phone call – nothing. And yet his request for her birthday details and his notes on the information were certainly an implied promise made. Why would he want the details unless he aimed to do something with them?
The Downside Of A Promise Not Kept
The downside was that, having implied the promise of future action, his lack of action damaged his reputation in my eyes. I thought that his actions at the time were significant, but his subsequent lack of action was poor. This can happen in many ways, in various situations in which you and I find ourselves. How many times have you and I made promises that we subsequently failed to keep?
Perhaps in conversation with a friend, colleague, or client, we’ve made a promise to take action. That promise may have been explicit or implicit. Explicit because we stated that we would take a particular action; implicit because we implied by our words that something would happen.
Perhaps it was as simple as a conversation about a great book we’d read, and we told someone – I’ll get you a copy. Maybe it was the promise to send a report or information to a client. Perhaps even the promise to call someone.
Indeed, at the time, we meant what we said, intended to take action, and made the promise. But for some reason, we didn’t live up to that promise or follow through on our intentions.
The problem is that many people, having made or implied the promise of future action, don’t make a note of what they’ve promised or, if they have made a note, don’t have a system in place to pick up that information at a later stage.
Noting The Promise As An Action Point
Do you have a notebook app on your phone, or carry a notebook and pen? I do—these days, I have an app. Then, if I ever make a promise, explicitly or implicitly, I make a note instantly, immediately, now! Each day, I check my phone to make sure that I take action on those promises. Perhaps you can use this idea yourself if you’ve ever found yourself reneging on the promises you’ve made.
Self Promises
Now, what about promises we make to ourselves? The expression comes into play again. Intent without action is a promise made. Intention WITH action is a promise kept. What are the promises that you made to yourself? Promises that, at the time, you had the total intention of keeping? Things to do, things NOT to do!
The first step in managing such promises is to write them down or record them on your phone. By making a record of the promise, you create something that can be audited at a later stage.
This was brought home to me at a recent seminar I was running. Many people attending the workshop were furiously taking notes as I shared my ideas on sales and marketing. I know from the conversations I had and the feedback forms of the day that they had every intention of taking action with the ideas. There certainly were promises made. And yet, despite those good intentions, experience tells me that many of those promises won’t get into action and won’t be kept.
Has this ever happened to you? I know it has for me. When we make those promises, whether to others or to ourselves, with good intentions, we must ensure that we record them and then take action. The downsides of not doing so are a damaged reputation in others’ eyes and an erosion of our own belief in what we say to ourselves.
Let’s keep more of those promises. After all, intent without action is undoubtedly a promise made, and intention with action is a promise kept.
