Intuitive Resilience: The Power of True Inner Strength

For me, resilience was a badge I wore with pride from an early age. Dealing with trauma taught me how to keep going, no matter how fierce the storms or daunting the battlefield. I learned to armour myself for any and every challenge. I mastered various tools and techniques that allowed me to carry on regardless. I was strong, I was fierce, and proud of my warrior-like ability to hold my own against any attack. But back then, I didn’t realize this wasn’t true or intuitive resilience.

I wholeheartedly embraced the positive thinking movement, adopting the ‘put on a brave face’ and ‘stiff upper lip’ approach to deal with stress and discomfort. I taught myself to push aside negative feelings in favour of motivational thoughts to strengthen my resolve. With so many coping strategies at my disposal, I genuinely felt I could handle anything! I even built a career sharing these tried-and-tested techniques with others. Yes, I was one of those trainers encouraging people to dig deep, stand tall, and tackle problems fully armoured with grit and determination.

The Shift to Intuitive Resilience

These days, I know better. I’ve understood that relying on coping mechanisms can do more harm than good. The constant pressure to stay tough pulls us away from our most influential information source: intuition.

Think about it. When something feels wrong, our instinct alerts us. So why are we encouraged to find a coping mechanism instead of listening to that internal signal when we feel uncomfortable about a situation or person? Arming ourselves for every challenge is misguided and wastes energy when we have a natural solution within us: intuitive resilience.

Beyond Mental Toughness: Embracing True Resilience

Traditional resilience advice often focuses on mental toughness and gearing up for a fight. But real resilience isn’t about toughening up. It’s the opposite—it’s about tuning in, acknowledging what we feel, and trusting our intuition.

The Fallacy of ‘Stay Strong’

During challenging times like the COVID-19 pandemic, we’ve faced circumstances that are largely beyond our control. Fighting through with positivity doesn’t change the external situation. In fact, it often makes us feel even more out of control. The more we cling to the ‘stay strong regardless’ mantra, the more tension builds and the more helpless we feel. Weighed down by emotional armour, we are left with a nagging sense of dread and emptiness inside.

People often talk about spiritual breakthroughs coming only after surrendering to what is. And this is the key to intuitive resilience—accepting and acknowledging the situation, then moving forward from there. Let me guide you step by step through this concept.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Intuitive Resilience

Imagine a challenging encounter with someone at work—a difficult boss, a demanding client, or a colleague who makes you feel uneasy.

Step 1: Listen to Your Gut

What tells us to stay alert? Where does that warning come from? It’s a feeling in our gut—a churning or a sense of unease. Traditional resilience strategies might advise us to brush off these feelings and push through, but that’s a mistake. Ignoring these signals only sets us up for a fall.

Instead, the first step toward intuitive resilience is to go within and acknowledge the message your gut is sending you. Start an internal dialogue, perhaps something like: “Thank you for the message. I hear you, I recognize what you’re telling me.” Continue until you feel the message has been received.

Step 2: Identify the Source

Once you’ve acknowledged your internal signals, it’s time to focus externally. What or who activated this warning? Let’s say it’s a new client making you feel uneasy. Instead of masking your nerves with false calm, recognize the truth of the situation. Imagine saying to yourself: “I see you. I understand what’s happening here. I can feel the truth in this interaction.”

You may feel relief, or you may not. Simply notice what you notice and continue acknowledging the situation until it feels complete.

Step 3: Move Forward Authentically

Now, instead of relying on emotional armour or forced strength, tap into your intuitive resilience. Having acknowledged both your internal feelings and the external situation, you’ve created a balanced starting point. Go within and connect with that deep place of knowing—the part of you that alerted you in the first place.

Take a few deep breaths, ask that knowing to grow, and see what comes up. You may feel peace, relaxation, or empowerment. Notice what you notice and allow that feeling to expand until it surrounds you.

As you move forward, the challenging person or situation may seem less intimidating. You can now approach it with more confidence and certainty than before.

What True Resilience Looks Like

This is intuitive resilience. It requires no armour, coping mechanisms, or forced mental toughness. Instead, it calls for understanding, acknowledgement, awareness, and authentic confidence that flows from within.