Conflict is inevitable in every area of life, from workplace challenges and personal relationships to broader societal disagreements. Conflict can be destructive, but it also holds the potential for growth, understanding, and stronger connections—if approached thoughtfully. Knowing how to help others resolve conflict is a valuable skill that fosters harmony, builds trust, and encourages collaboration.

By employing strategies such as deep listening, empathy, and critical thinking, you can guide others through disagreements and help them find meaningful resolutions.

The Cost Of Unresolved Conflict

Unresolved conflict in the workplace can lead to significant financial and human costs. A 2021 article in Forbes highlights that turnover due to conflict incurs expenses such as severance packages, recruitment, onboarding, and the loss of skilled employees, which can substantially impact an organisation’s bottom line.

In the UK, a report by Acas estimates that workplace conflict costs employers £28.5 billion annually, averaging around £1,000 per employee. This figure encompasses costs related to absenteeism, presenteeism, and staff turnover resulting from unresolved disputes.

Additionally, unresolved conflict can increase employee stress, contributing to higher healthcare costs and reduced productivity. A whitepaper by Conflict Dynamics notes that stress from dysfunctional conflict can cause physical and psychological health problems, leading to increased healthcare expenses and decreased employee performance. Conflict Dynamics

These findings underscore the importance of addressing workplace conflicts promptly and effectively to mitigate financial losses and promote a healthier, more productive work environment.

Understanding Conflict: The First Step to Helping Others

To help others resolve conflict, it’s essential to understand the dynamics at play. Psychologists identify five primary conflict styles: competing, accommodating, avoiding, compromising, and collaborating. Each style has strengths and weaknesses and may be more effective depending on the situation.

  • Competing: A firm and decisive approach suitable for high-stakes or emergencies where quick action is necessary.
  • Accommodating: Prioritising the other person’s needs to maintain harmony is helpful for minor disputes but less practical for more profound issues.
  • Avoiding: Stepping back to let tensions cool helps prevent escalation but is risky if used as a long-term strategy.
  • Compromising: Finding a middle ground where both parties give up something to reach an agreement.
  • Collaborating: The most constructive style, focusing on win-win solutions that address everyone’s needs.

When guiding others, help them recognise their default conflict style and explore whether it’s serving the situation. Encourage them to adapt their approach to achieve a more constructive resolution.

The Power of Deep Listening

One of the most impactful ways to help others resolve conflict is by teaching the art of deep listening. Too often, people listen only to respond, focusing on defending their position rather than truly understanding the other person’s perspective.

Deep listening goes beyond hearing words; it involves understanding the emotions, experiences, and beliefs that shape someone’s viewpoint. Encourage others to ask questions like, “Why do you feel this way?” or “What experiences have shaped your perspective?” This approach builds empathy, fosters mutual respect, and uncovers the root of the conflict.

Critical Thinking: Essential for Resolving Conflict

While empathy is vital, resolving conflict also requires critical thinking. Teach others to separate facts from emotions, challenge assumptions, and evaluate evidence before forming conclusions. Critical thinking helps uncover the root causes of conflict, ensuring that solutions address the real issues rather than just the symptoms.

For example, in a workplace disagreement, critical thinking might involve examining the processes that led to the issue or identifying shared goals. Combining empathy with logic empowers others to move beyond blame and focus on solutions.

How to Help Others Navigate Emotional Reactions

Conflict often triggers emotional responses that make it difficult to think clearly. Teach others how to recognise and manage these reactions, shifting from reactive to reflective ones. Encourage techniques like:

  • Pausing: Taking a moment to breathe and reflect before responding.
  • Reframing: Viewing the conflict as an opportunity for growth rather than a threat.
  • Empathy: Putting themselves in the other person’s shoes to better understand their perspective.

These practices help reduce defensiveness and open the door to constructive dialogue.

Steps to Help Others Resolve Conflict

  1. Create a Safe Space for Discussion: Ensure that all parties feel heard and respected. A neutral environment can encourage openness and reduce defensiveness.
  2. Encourage Deep Listening: Teach others to understand each other’s perspectives rather than preparing counterarguments.
  3. Guide the Use of Conflict Styles: Help parties recognise their default approaches and explore more effective alternatives.
  4. Foster Empathy: Encourage each person to consider the emotions and experiences behind the other’s viewpoint. This helps build connections and reduces animosity.
  5. Promote Critical Thinking: Help others identify the root causes of the conflict and focus on solutions that address underlying issues.
  6. Find Common Ground: Highlight shared values or goals as a foundation for resolution.
  7. Clarify Agreements: Ensure any resolutions are clear, practical, and mutually agreed upon.
  8. Reflect on the Process: After resolving the conflict, encourage participants to reflect on what they’ve learned and how to apply those lessons.

The Role of Neutrality in Conflict Resolution

When helping others resolve conflict, you act as a neutral guide. Avoid taking sides or imposing your own opinions. Instead, focus on facilitating understanding and fostering dialogue. By maintaining neutrality, you create an environment where both parties feel safe to express themselves honestly.

The Costs of Unresolved Conflict

Unresolved conflict often leads to strained relationships, mistrust, and a toxic environment. In workplaces, it can lower morale and productivity; in personal relationships, it can create lasting damage. Teaching others how to resolve conflict improves their interactions and contributes to a more positive and supportive culture.

Broader Implications: Social and Global Conflicts

The skills that help individuals resolve conflict also apply to larger-scale disputes, such as those on social media or even global tensions. Misunderstandings and polarisation often arise from a lack of deep listening and critical thinking. By encouraging these skills, you can help create a culture of empathy and thoughtful dialogue, reducing division and fostering unity.

Conclusion: Empowering Others to Resolve Conflict

Knowing how to help others resolve conflict is a powerful way to create harmony, build trust, and strengthen relationships. By teaching deep listening, empathy, and critical thinking, you empower others to navigate disagreements constructively. Whether in personal relationships, workplaces, or broader social contexts, these skills transform conflict into a force for growth and connection, creating a more compassionate and cooperative world.