Why Making Friends At Work Matters

Making friends at work is more than just a social perk—it is essential for a thriving and productive workplace. Research shows that employees with strong social connections are more engaged, make better decisions, and are generally more productive. Gallup’s Q12 engagement survey, a widely recognized tool, underscores the value of workplace friendships by highlighting how having a “best friend at work” boosts employee satisfaction and loyalty.

The Hidden Benefits of Workplace Friendships

Building friendships at work significantly impacts your performance and well-being. According to psychologist Ron Friedman’s book The Best Place to Work, workplace friendships foster collaboration and creativity and even improve decision-making. Yet, despite these benefits, many organizations undervalue social bonds, seeing them as distractions rather than productivity boosters.

Misconceptions About Friends at Work

Friedman notes that close friendships at work are often misperceived as sources of gossip or favouritism. However, these assumptions are misplaced. Strong workplace friendships build trust, loyalty, and positive work culture, contributing to individual and organizational success.

The Impact of Loneliness at Work

Loneliness is a significant barrier to building friendships at work. The 2022 Global Emotions Report by Gallup found that 330 million adults worldwide go for at least two weeks without talking to a friend or family member. This silent epidemic affects mental health and productivity and highlights a troubling disconnect, especially in remote or hybrid work environments.

Why It’s Difficult to Make Friends At Work

Despite spending a significant portion of our lives at work, forming friendships in a professional setting can be challenging. A study for the book You, Me, We revealed that 20% of leaders reported having no friends at work. Whether due to the nature of remote work, busy schedules, or cultural norms, many employees struggle to build meaningful connections.

The Different Types of Workplace Friendships

Understanding the types of friendships can help identify the best ways to build strong connections:

  • Friendships Based on Utility: Relationships formed around mutual benefits or shared resources.
  • Friendships Based on Pleasure: Bonds created through shared enjoyment and common interests.
  • Friendships Based on Good: Deeper connections built around shared values and support.

Aristotle’s classification of friendships can be applied to the workplace, helping professionals nurture relationships that contribute to personal satisfaction and business success.

Building Stronger Friendships at Work

Creating and maintaining friendships at work requires effort and intention. It’s not enough to share office space or collaborate on projects. To build a solid professional friendship:

  1. Be Proactive: Initiate conversations and engage with colleagues beyond work tasks.
  2. Be Authentic: Show genuine interest in their lives and values.
  3. Create Trust: Share experiences and support each other’s professional growth.
  4. Communicate Openly: Practice active listening and be open to feedback.
  5. Foster Mutual Respect: Celebrate successes and navigate disagreements respectfully.

Are You a Friend At Work?

Rather than asking if you have a friend at work, a more critical question is: Are you a friend at work? Being a supportive colleague requires self-awareness, empathy, and the ability to prioritize the needs of others. According to Gallup, 67% of leaders admit that their words or actions have unintentionally undermined their colleagues’ success.

How to Cultivate a Friendship Mindset at Work

To show up as a true friend and ally at work:

  1. Focus on Intentions and Impact: Ensure your actions match your positive intentions.
  2. Practice Active Listening: Give your full attention during interactions.
  3. Support Consistently: Be present in both good times and bad.
  4. Communicate With Empathy: Consider the needs and emotions of others before responding.
  5. Set Boundaries: Respect professional boundaries to maintain a healthy work-life balance.

The Golden Rule of Friendship at Work

The essence of making friends at work lies in the timeless principle of Treating others as you want. While simple in theory, this principle can be complex to implement. Cultivating friendships at work requires patience, a willingness to go first, and a commitment to building trust over time.

A Practical Approach to Building Friendships

Building high-trust relationships quickly is critical in today’s fast-paced work environment. Waiting months or years to develop these bonds can impede collaboration and performance. Instead, prioritize building connections from day one by:

  • Scheduling Regular Check-Ins: Engage in one-on-one conversations beyond work topics.
  • Recognizing Contributions: Celebrate small wins and acknowledge the effort.
  • Providing Constructive Feedback: Be honest yet supportive to help others grow.

Final Thoughts: Are You the Go-To or the Go-From Colleague?

Your approach to workplace relationships shapes your professional reputation. Are you seen as the go-to colleague—someone who supports and uplifts—or the go-to colleague whom others avoid? Building positive workplace relationships is not just beneficial for others; it’s essential for your success.

Learn More

To delve deeper into building meaningful connections at work, explore more research and insights in You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up as One!).

  • About the Author
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Morag Barrett helps leaders achieve outstanding results through the power of their professional relationships. She is an in-demand keynote speaker, executive coach, leadership expert, and bestselling author of three books: Cultivate: The Power of  Winning Relationships, The Future-Proof Workplace, and You, Me, We: Why we all need a friend at work (and how to show up as one!). 

Morag excels at helping leaders and organizations see the gaps in their development and discover new ways to move past them. A pragmatic ideator, she finds unique solutions to problems (usually through the power of connection). Her greatest joy lies in giving leaders the tools, encouragement, and resources they need to become the best authentic versions of themselves they can be. 

She also…

  • Has helped more than 15,000 leaders from 20 countries on 4 continents improve the effectiveness of their leaders and teams.
  • Is the proud mother of three 6ft tall sons who can thoroughly beat her in basketball, but don’t stand a chance in Scrabble.
  • Has been featured by Entrepreneur.com, Forbes, and The American Management Association among others.
  • Spent three weeks at sea with a group of Estonian sailors.
  • Prefers gin to scotch, despite having a Scottish name (it means “great” …and she is!).
  • Is a member of the 100 Coaches organization formed by Marshall Goldsmith.
  • Has more than 50 unicorn themed items at home (none of which she has bought for herself!)
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