The Art of Handling Rejection and Saying No

No is a two-letter word that can leave impact craters that riddle us with self-doubt. Saying no is an immediate and sharp response that puts a screeching halt to what drives us toward a self-justified concept of passion. It is not the two letters that trigger us, but the implication of denial and rejection of our identity or what we want. Our prideful nature wants what the eyes see, and what the eyes see lets the heart know that this thing is right for us, meaning we must obtain it. The word yes pacifies man’s impulsive ego that reacts based on immediate satisfaction. However, a life full of yeses is a life of fantasy.

When we reach adulthood, we must learn to handle the weight of the word no. Handling the weight of rejection can be like someone putting too many plates on the barbell, leaving us to handle the bench press set by ourselves. The weight of saying no will either leave us stuck and crush us, or we can learn to understand the weight and how to lift it to a higher standard that can lead to the yes’s we seek. When toddlers hear no, their first inclination is not to understand the intentions behind the word but to receive it as a threat and throw a tantrum. As adults, we need to learn to accept the answer we might not want to hear at that moment.

No Isn’t A Permanent Answer

Accepting the fact that it’s not our turn to play is not a bad thing. We all have turns, but the key is waiting and acknowledging we may not have been ready. This may sound easy, but we must act upon these ideological coping strategies and hopeful outlooks until we are in that waiting room with no’s painted all over the walls and no timetable of a yes in sight. Stated we cannot be in control of everything all the time. The word no isn’t the end-all-be-all, not if we want it to be.

For someone like myself, who dives into the craft of creative writing and sharing my work on various platforms, I have received many rejection emails to submissions. Fast forward to today, I have over two dozen pieces published on multiple platforms, including poetry, short stories, essays, and prose. I did not allow the no’s from editors and publishers to be the end point of my writing goals.

Sometimes We Have To Use No

Sometimes, we will have to say no to something. There are times when it is difficult for some people to look into someone’s eyes and deny them. How we handle rejection throughout our lives depends on how we give it back to others. Of course, every situation requires a different level of how heavy we lay it on someone. It is very unrealistic that we will go the rest of our lives without giving some form of rejection to someone else.

We must learn to be comfortable saying because if we don’t, we are not living our own lives with our choices but by a conglomerate of other people’s choices. Thus, we are not living our lives and thinking for ourselves. Saying no to something or someone can be intimidating because we don’t know what reaction we might get back. This is where we need to know who we are and be confident in the morals we stand on as the carpet beneath our feet. If we don’t stand firm and always say yes to anything, the floor will constantly be ripped beneath our feet, and we will fall harder and harder, losing out on opportunities.

Find the beauty in rejection

Rejection isn’t a finality because a door that closes to a path can lead to something else in which we can find beauty. When we put our pride aside and do our part to understand, the no isn’t so wretched when we keep confidence in ourselves. We learn to appreciate the reasoning, like polished, crafted gems that reflect the potential of turning weakness into strength.

The forgotten beauty is often in the deep mines of strife and being humbled. Forging ethical skills from life’s pressures creates diamonds in our minds to think differently. So many people are used to getting what they want all the time, and there is never any forging process. The mind and soul become rotted, like the corpse of a loving venture that used to be spring in life.

Concluding Thoughts

There are ways to reject someone or something healthily without leaving a sour aftertaste in others’  mouths for future endeavours. We need to be honest with our others. We’d know when to say endeavours went out with some friends, and the person who wanted to drive had the most drinks, so it was time to reject that situation. Most people are afraid to open their mouths and be upfront with the no. I’m not saying we should slander the individual, although it is common sense not to get behind the wheel. Would you risk your life all because you didn’t know how to say no? I would hope not.

Rejection can either cause us to give up on hope or find new, more substantial ways to have an outlook to accomplish the mission we set for ourselves. Rejection can come in many different forms, but when we hear the answer no, we should immediately take this as an opportunity to learn from the experience we went through that led to that very answer in the first place.