What do I mean by Higher Self Leadership?  How do you operate this way of living and leading?  When I talk to people about my philosophy, they often think it’s just another leadership model primarily aligned with personality, drive, or situation.  But the gift of this leadership model is that it taps into the commonality of all of us.  We all have a Higher Self available to all of us.  With practice, you will discover that this is who you really are. Often, the world has taught us to operate from a different level, which I call the ego.

A key point to remember as you read this article is that you are not learning this information to be a better person; you are learning this information to uncover the real you, who is already perfect and wise.

Who Are You?

With this in mind, have you ever paused to wonder who you are? Not just the name on your business card, your job title, or the roles you play in your personal life—like parent, partner, or friend—but who you are beneath it all. Most of us go through life identified with the external aspects of ourselves: our accomplishments, responsibilities, and even the expectations others place on us. But these are just layers, like coats, that can change depending on the situation. So, if you’re not the roles you play or the labels you’ve been given, then who are you?

This question is not just a philosophical inquiry; it’s the foundation of every meaningful transformation you’ll ever experience. And while uncovering who you are may sound abstract, it’s an efficient process that has profound implications for how you live, lead, and love.

We often believe that who we are is who shows up every day, and not many people realise we have a choice about who we are, how we see things, and how we react to situations. But we do have a choice in every moment. We can choose to see, act, and respond from our Higher Self (who we really are) or our ego, which is the self we have adopted to navigate the world.

The Higher Self vs. The Ego

Understanding who you are starts by distinguishing between your Higher Self and your ego. The ego is the part of you shaped by external influences—your upbringing, societal expectations, and past experiences. It’s the image you project to the world and the identity you’ve constructed to feel safe, accepted, and successful.  We can suffer intolerably when we identify with the ego.  This is because we can become attached to those labels, and when we lose them, it can cause immense pain. When our ego evaluates and judges others, it causes tremendous suffering for us and others.

It’s important to emphasise that the world is set up so that we primarily operate from the ego, but it’s limited. It’s driven by fear, ego, and a need for validation. Everyone has an ego. Identifying with specific labels can be very grounding and give us certainty in an uncertain world.  However, when the confines of our ego limit us or make us unhappy, it’s time to do something about it.

The Higher Self, on the other hand, is constant and unchanging. It’s the part of you that remains intact regardless of your achievements, failures, or how others perceive you. When you connect with your Higher Self, you experience a sense of inner stability, confidence, and clarity that is not dependent on circumstances. You make decisions that feel deeply aligned with your values and lead with an unshakeable sense of purpose. Your Higher Self is not attached to anything, but nor is it unattached.  It is deeply connected and part of you and everyone and everything around you.  It is an inside job.  When the external world changes, your Higher Self knows it is a temporary experience and the actual connection is within.

Who Are You Without the Labels?

Take a moment to reflect on the labels you use to define yourself: Are you the “hard worker,” “the perfectionist,” or “the problem-solver”? While these traits might describe your behaviours, they are not who you are. They are roles you’ve adopted because, at some point, they helped you navigate life. However, the problem is that they limit us when we over-identify these roles.

Imagine wearing a mask for so long that you forget it’s there. Over time, you start to believe that the mask is your face, and you feel lost without it. This happens when you mistake the roles you play for your identity. The mask becomes so heavy that it feels impossible to take off, and you lose touch with the real you underneath—the real you, which is your higher self.

Why the Brain Is an Instrument—Not the Boss

Neuroscience has shown that the brain can allow an individual to choose through their Higher Self or their ego.   The way the brain is set up is extraordinary.  When we understand how we can choose to programme our brains through neuroplasticity, we can see that we can shift from ego to higher self if we wish to.

It’s important to understand that your brain is a potent tool on this journey of self-discovery, but it’s not the driver. Your brain processes information, stores memories, and helps you navigate the physical world. But it also filters everything through your past experiences, creating a “lens” through which you view yourself and the world.

This lens can cloud over time by limiting beliefs, unresolved emotions, and old conditioning. For example, if you’ve been repeatedly told that you’re not good enough, your brain may keep replaying this narrative, shaping your self-image in a way that doesn’t reflect your true nature. When this happens, you start reacting to life from a place of insecurity and self-doubt instead of from your authentic core.

But you have the power to change this lens. By becoming aware of these old patterns, you can shift your mindset, reframe your thoughts, and use your brain as the incredible instrument it was designed to be—a tool for conscious creation, not a default setting that runs your life on autopilot.

How to Reconnect with Your Higher Self

So, how do you begin peeling back the layers and reconnecting with your Higher Self? It starts with cultivating a new relationship with your thoughts and beliefs. Here’s a practical but straightforward approach you can use to get started:

  1. Observe Your Thoughts: Practice observing your thoughts for one week as if watching someone else’s movie. Notice what themes keep coming up. Are they self-critical? Judgmental? Fearful? Just observe without trying to change anything.
  2. Ask Yourself: Who Am I Without This Thought?: Pick one thought or belief that has been a recurring theme. For example, “I have to work hard to be valuable.” Then, ask yourself, “Who am I without this belief?” Let your mind explore the answer. What emotions or sensations arise when you imagine letting it go?
  3. Reframe Limiting Narratives: Once you’ve identified a limiting belief, try reframing it. Instead of “I have to work hard to be valuable,” try “My value comes from who I am, not what I do.” Notice how this new belief feels in your body. Does it create a sense of relief or expansion?
  4. Create Daily Reminders of Your Higher Self: Write down three qualities that reflect your true nature, such as “calm,” “loving,” and “courageous.” Place this note somewhere visible, like your mirror or workspace, to remind yourself of who you are, especially during stress or self-doubt.

Stepping Out of ego-based roles

So here I will give an example of this process in action.  Let’s say you’ve always been known as the “overachiever.” You take on every project, work late hours, and define your worth by your productivity. But beneath the accolades and accomplishments, you feel exhausted and unfulfilled. This overachiever identity was formed in response to a need for approval, maybe starting as early as childhood when good grades or achievements earned you praise and affection.

Recognising this identity as a role rather than the essence of who you are is the first step to freedom. You begin to ask: Who am I without the need to overachieve? As you explore this question, you might discover qualities of your Higher Self that have been suppressed, like a love of creativity or a desire for deeper, more meaningful connections. Slowly, you begin shifting how you approach your work—not from a place of proving yourself but from expressing your authentic gifts. This shift doesn’t mean you stop being effective; it makes you more effective because you’re no longer operating from a place of burnout or fear.

The Reward of Self-Awareness: Inner Peace and Outer Impact

Understanding who you really are isn’t just about feeling good internally; it transforms how you show up in the world.  When you lead from your Higher Self, you naturally inspire those around you to do the same. You create a ripple effect, encouraging others to shed their masks and step into their authenticity. This kind of leadership is deeply impactful because it’s rooted in self-awareness, presence, and purpose.

As you embark on or continue your journey of self-discovery, remember that you don’t have to change anything about yourself—you’re already perfect at your core. The journey is about uncovering who you really are, the one who is calm, clear, and powerful beyond measure. It’s a journey of coming home to yourself, one step, one breath, and one insight at a time.

So, who are you really? It’s time to find out.

  • About the Author
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I help leaders develop self- mastery, helping them to become confident in their own inner guidance.

I collaborate with leadership experts, managers and HR professionals to help them get their own message and unique services and products to a wide audience.

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