Helping Others To Resolve Conflict - People Development Magazine

Overview

Conflict isn’t always negative; it can fuel growth. By rethinking priorities, spotting behaviour patterns, and addressing weak points, disagreements become opportunities. Developing emotional intelligence, communication, flexibility, and resilience strengthens relationships. Practising patience, assertiveness, and letting go ensures balance. With reflection, conflict becomes a teacher, helping individuals grow personally and professionally.

Introduction

Who says conflict is a bad thing?  Often, we try to avoid conflict as it’s seen as something undesirable or unwanted.  We are meant to seek harmony at all costs.  However, there are many benefits to conflict, one of which is that it can challenge you to grow.

Here are three ways conflict can help you grow personally and professionally:

Rethink Your Priorities

Conflict can prompt you to reassess your priorities and reflect on what you are genuinely trying to achieve.  When you’re in disagreement with someone, take a step back. Review your interests and what you want to achieve. Is it worth it? If so, why? If not, why are you continuing it? Sometimes you have to learn which battles you might want to pursue.  At the beginning of the signs of a conflict arising, you might want to let things go.

Brings Patterns of Behaviour To The Fore

Conflict brings patterns of behaviour to you, making them a sharp focus of attention.  When you’re in disagreement and you’re going through the usual tit-for-tat, my idea is better than yours because. You get used to fighting. You can’t change the other person, but you can examine and change yourself. When you take a moment to reflect on your interactions, you’ll likely notice some patterns of behaviour. Something may be triggering you to enter battle mode. You may be doing something to provoke specific reactions in others.

By paying attention to how you’re interacting with others, you’re creating opportunities for yourself to develop skills. You’re able to alter your behaviours.  You’re more aware of how you communicate and can intentionally adjust your style.

Identifies Weak Points

Conflicts identify weak points: Often, people enter conflicts because they feel threatened or vulnerable. A natural defensive reaction is to cast the attention away from the weakness. Instead, when you identify it, try very hard to work on the weakness. Learn new skills. Expand your understanding. Meet new people. It’s not easy, but the results are worth it.

Develop Emotional Intelligence

Understanding and managing your own emotions, as well as empathising with others, are crucial skills in conflict resolution. Emotional intelligence helps in recognising the underlying feelings behind the conflicts, which often stem from miscommunications, personal insecurities, or stress. By being aware of these emotions, individuals can better control their responses and engage in more constructive discussions. This awareness also aids in predicting and understanding the emotional reactions of others, which can help prevent escalation and foster more empathetic interactions.

Enhance Communication Skills

Effective communication is essential to resolving conflicts. This includes active listening, clear and respectful speaking, and the ability to convey your thoughts and feelings without aggression or hostility. Practising active listening involves giving the speaker your full attention, acknowledging their message, and responding thoughtfully. Clear communication also means being direct yet tactful in expressing oneself. Enhancing these skills helps in de-escalating conflicts and finding common ground, or at least understanding the different perspectives involved.

Foster Flexibility

Being flexible in conflict situations means being open to different outcomes and not insisting on one’s way as the only solution. Flexibility involves the willingness to consider alternative viewpoints and compromises. This adaptability can lead to more innovative and satisfactory resolutions that might not have been initially apparent. Flexibility also helps in maintaining relationships despite disagreements, as it demonstrates respect for other perspectives.

Build Resilience

Conflict often involves setbacks and challenges that can be emotionally draining. Building resilience helps individuals recover from disputes more effectively and maintain their productivity and positivity. Resilience in this context means the ability to remain focused on solutions rather than getting bogged down by problems. It also includes learning from each conflict experience to handle future disputes better

Cultivate Patience

Patience is vital in managing conflict, as it allows all parties involved to reflect on the situation and come to thoughtful conclusions. Rushing to resolve a dispute can lead to half-baked solutions that might not address the root causes. Patience helps reduce tension and provides space for emotions to settle, which is particularly important in heated disputes.

Practice Assertiveness

Being assertive means expressing one’s own needs, rights, and desires clearly and respectfully, without being aggressive or passive. This quality is essential in conflicts as it helps to ensure that all parties’ views and needs are fairly represented and considered. Assertiveness leads to more balanced solutions where compromise does not equate to self-sacrifice but rather to mutual respect and understanding.

Learn To Let Go

Not all conflicts can be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction. Learning to let go involves recognising when to disengage from a dispute that is unproductive or damaging. It also entails accepting that some issues may not be worth the emotional toll they take. Letting go can prevent unnecessary stress and preserve personal wellbeing and relationships. This lesson is particularly important in ongoing relationships where picking battles wisely can maintain harmony and reduce bitterness.

When you give yourself time to reflect, conflict can challenge you to grow by highlighting areas where you can develop and strengthen. Whenever you expand your skill set and understanding of a situation, there is a greater likelihood of mastery and innovation.

Pick one of the suggestions and see how it works for you. Experiment with the other options. Compare your feelings about each option.