6 Ways To Achieve Inner Peace - People Development Magazine
6 Ways To Achieve Inner Peace - People Development Magazine

I recall in my early twenties reading about attaining inner peace and feeling threatened and scared.  Being at peace just seemed so boring. How could you live your life with all the highs and lows and the tumbles and resets if you were constantly trying to be at peace?  Little did I know that I was addicted to the drama in my life.   And that’s ok too, except the drama in my life wasn’t particularly happy.  In many of the dramas I became embroiled in, and I suffered deeply.  For years, my quest for self-awareness was to try to prevent any more pain.  I soon shifted my focus to trying to achieve happiness.  I was definitely on the right track here.  It took a few more years to realise that where my soul and heart wanted me to go was to achieve inner peace.

Raising my self-awareness has been a lifelong quest for me.  Even as a child, I was reflective and analytical about my behaviour and that of others.  I was always curious about how people tick.  I didn’t make significant inroads toward achieving inner peace until I was in my 30s. Too many dramas have made me realise there must be a better way.  I could write thousands of words about the lessons and journeys I have been on since then, but here are six of my top realisations that helped me achieve inner peace.

1. Be your own best friend

I can hardly put into words how deciding to be my own best friend has transformed my life. It was a whole new paradigm.  Deciding to be my own best friend meant I could ditch that negative, pervasive inner critic.  I could recognise when I was beating myself up. As I adjusted to this new perspective, whenever I found myself slipping back into old habits, I would ask myself, “What would you say to your best friend, whom you love deeply?”  That would always stop the inner critic in its tracks.  It took a long time to break down the negative patterns which had been with me for years. Now my inner best friend automatically intervenes when negativity enters.

When coaching clients, some find the idea of being their own best friends easier than others.   If you find the concept difficult, then you likely need to practice self-love more.  Mirror Work by Louise Hay may seem a little self-indulgent and for some a bit too introspective, but if you practice the techniques, you will grow in self-love and learn to be your own best friend.  You may have a different experience, but I don’t believe you can achieve inner peace if you’re unable to be your own best friend.  If you aren’t already, try it.

2. See the best in others

If you’re not your own best friend, then it may be difficult to always see the best in others.  This is because if you’re not accustomed to silencing your inner critic, you will likely struggle to eliminate negativity towards others as well.   I was once told that one of my problems was seeing the best in others.   I realised that the criticism towards me was not that I did something, but rather that they believed it was because of this, and as a result, I ignored the worst in others.  However, that wasn’t true.  You can still be aware of and make contingencies for someone’s worst traits, and still choose to find the good in them.

We’ve all been in or known about relationships that start with such promise and then disintegrate into two people who once loved each other becoming sworn enemies.  When you achieve inner peace, you realise that there are both good and not-so-good factors in everyone, and you can accept them all.   When you are at peace with yourself, you can walk away from a relationship that isn’t right, while still seeing the best in and caring for the other person.

And so it’s true in less intense relationships, or with family members, or work colleagues.  Whenever you are thinking or feeling negatively about someone, pause and find something good about them that you can appreciate.

3. Forgiveness

Forgiveness involves being able to cut through the negativity and the experiences you may be having with someone, which are not positive, and letting your hurt and negativity go. When you feel angry, confused, or hurt by someone else’s actions, it can be not easy.  Some people equate forgiveness with letting someone off the hook.  They feel the other person will benefit, and that person just doesn’t deserve it. But forgiveness is always about you.  Being able to forgive others for their thoughtlessness, lack of presence, or any actions that you dislike is the path to freedom.  Freedom from anger, hurt and suffering.

Wanting to forgive someone and feeling at peace with their actions are two very different things.  It’s difficult to feel at peace when you have feelings of hurt and anger within you.  However, the intention to forgive is where you need to start.  You may find intellectually you are saying the words “I forgive you”, but letting go of your emotions may take much longer.  Still, it can be done.  The trick is to focus on healing your painful emotions rather than focusing on the person you associate with causing them.

4. Learn how to switch perspectives

Pivoting, as it is called, is a powerful technique that you must master if you are going to achieve that state of inner peace.  This is the art of switching perspectives.  Let’s take a simple example which we can all relate to.   We get up, pull back the curtains, and find that the sky is grey and the rain is lashing down.  It’s a winter day, it’s so dark and gloomy, but it’s in the middle of summer.  So, on the one hand, you could look at the situation and think “My day is ruined” “Bang go my lovely walk in the park with my friend”  etc.. we close the curtains and go back to bed, and feel miserable.

On the other hand, we could say, “I’m so glad it’s raining, the flowers need it so much.” “It’s going to be exciting getting waterproofed up and talking to my friend in the rain”. “I’m excited to see them” I know it sounds a bit of a stretch, but we do have the choice.

So we can practice switching perspectives with easy situations, such as the weather, or when something doesn’t turn up when we expect it, for example.  It’s harder to pivot when more significant situations present themselves.  A friend of mine was devastated when they didn’t get the job of their dreams. They had prepared for years, and so it was a cruel blow.  Eventually, they were able to pivot their thoughts about the situation and instead of lingering on the disappointment,  chose to focus on what they were learning.   We often get stuck in patterns of thinking that don’t serve us well.  Observing our patterns can help us identify those times when we need to shift our perspective.

5. Surrender

To feel at peace with yourself, you must be able to practice the art of surrender.  Surrender, like the act of acceptance, is designed to alleviate suffering.  Surrender is the decision in your mind to stop resisting a situation and accept it as it is.  Years ago, I was in an intense relationship.  In hindsight, I realised it was never going to work, but at the time, I was determined it would.  After suffering and angst for far too long, I realised that I had to let it go. I had to release the vision I had, release the expectations I had built in my mind and accept what had seemed intolerable to me, that it was never going to be.  The relief and the happiness that flooded me once I made that decision were unimaginable when I had been tied up in the resistance.

There are many situations where I have had to practice surrender.  It is always giving up on the resistance to a situation you want to be different.  Practising surrender leads to building our muscle of acceptance.  Accepting things as they are is another crucial step in achieving peace of mind.

6. Look after yourself

For many years, I have taken care of my mind. Growing my thinking and emotional intelligence has been paramount for me.  However, along the way, I have sometimes forgotten to take care of my physical well-being.  Yet, taking care of yourself in all aspects is crucial.  There are many habits you can adopt to make sure you have a good grounding in caring for and loving yourself.   These can be making sure you eat well, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep from a physical perspective.

It would be helpful if you prioritised your relationships. Make sure to nurture positive, caring ones and put those that are less positive out of reach.  You can practice mindfulness, and meditation is excellent for well-being.  Building a positive mindset with some of the techniques outlined here is helpful.  Whatever aspect of well-being you are not paying attention to, you need to redress that balance.  You are unlikely to achieve true inner peace if you don’t take care of yourself.   Therefore, establishing a plan for healthy habits and taking care of your mind and body is essential.

Mindful Practices To Achieve Inner Peace

Mindfulness is crucial for developing both conceptual and emotional intelligence. In essence, when we are mindful, we pause to think, act, or feel differently. Mindfulness is the buzzword in the business world right now. The jury is still out for many people as to whether mindfulness helps in anything other than a personal way.  Practising mindfulness in specific ways can bring demonstrable benefits. What I’d like to share with you right now are three simple mindful practices.  These can be used to deepen your sense of peace and help you at stressful times.

1. Meditation

Of course, you are all aware meditation is one of several mindful practices. There are many different techniques that can be used for meditation. If you can remember the basic principle of meditation,  you can harness the benefits of meditation without giving up in exasperation because you haven’t got it right. Simply stated, meditation is the act of disengaging from your thoughts. This then opens you up to connecting with your intuition.
Much stress and agitation are caused by either overthinking or negative thinking. The act of meditation quiets your mind and provides a well-deserved rest from constantly thinking about whatever is worrying you. All you have to do is:
a) become aware of your thoughts
b) concentrate on your breathing, and
c) simply watch your thoughts coming and going without attaching yourself to them.

2. Contemplation

This practice is very like meditation, except it is more purposeful. While helpful insights may arise when you meditate, the primary objective is to rest and refresh your mind. Contemplation, however, is one of the mindful practices that can provide you with a distinct focus. If you have a knotty problem, you may wish to use contemplation to ask your inner self what the next step should be. To allow the answer to come through, you would pose the question while emptying your mind in a meditative way. Often, the answer will come during practice, but do not be disappointed if it doesn’t; it will likely occur to you soon after.
The trick is to let go of seeking an answer, and it will come. When we have problems, we inadvertently overthink by constantly thinking about what we are going to do. Alternatively, we become engaged in diversions that simply avoid the problem. Contemplation can be a less stressful way of approaching situations that cause us to overthink or become diverted.

3.  Non-judgement

Practising non-judgment is indeed a mindful stretch!  After many years of awareness, I am automatically still drawn to judging situations or people.  But judging situations or people can create inner stress.  How many times have you fumed about someone else while they are happily getting on with their lives and are completely oblivious to your distress?  Mostly, we don’t think there are any alternatives to judging others.  Some of us think non-judgment is some religious practice. When you begin to pull away from judging people and situations as good or bad, it frees you from those negative thoughts that stress you, not whoever or whatever you are judging.
When you can think of people or situations you judge in alternative ways, then all the stress is removed.  To move away from judging, you can mindfully consider people or situations either as “it works”  or “it doesn’t work.  So, when someone is doing something you don’t like or agree with, you can think, ‘That works for them, but it doesn’t work for me.’  Just try this practice and you will see how much more peaceful you feel when you are simply evaluating something that works or doesn’t work, rather than judging it as good or bad.

Aspects of Neuroscience That Contribute To Inner Peace

Achieving inner peace, a state often associated with calmness, emotional well-being, and a sense of harmony with oneself and the world, involves various aspects of neuroscience. Understanding these aspects requires delving into how the brain processes emotions, stress, and relaxation.

Neurological Foundations of Emotion Regulation

  1. The Limbic System: This brain region, particularly the amygdala, plays a crucial role in emotion processing and regulation. It plays a key role in our responses to stress and fear. Achieving inner peace involves learning to manage the responses of the amygdala, leading to a decrease in anxiety and an increase in feelings of safety and calmness.
  2. Prefrontal Cortex (PFC): The PFC plays a crucial role in cognitive functions such as decision-making, problem-solving, and impulse control. A well-functioning PFC helps in regulating emotions by providing rational thought processes to counteract emotional responses. This balance between the PFC and the limbic system is crucial for maintaining emotional stability and inner peace.

Stress Response and Its Management

  1. Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) Axis: This system controls the body’s response to stress. When stressed, the hypothalamus signals the pituitary gland, which in turn signals the adrenal glands to release cortisol, a hormone that helps the body cope with stress. Chronic activation of this axis can lead to health problems, whereas finding ways to calm this response can lead to a state of inner peace.
  2. Autonomic Nervous System (ANS): The ANS, especially the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, controls the body’s fight-or-flight response. Techniques that promote relaxation, such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga, activate the parasympathetic nervous system, inducing a state of calm and facilitating inner peace.

Neuroplasticity and Mindfulness

  1. Neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to change and adapt in response to experience. Practices that promote inner peace, such as mindfulness and meditation, can lead to changes in brain structure and function. For instance, regular meditation has been linked to increased grey matter density in the hippocampus, which is known for its role in memory and learning, as well as in areas associated with self-awareness and compassion.
  2. Mindfulness and meditation are associated with increased activity in the prefrontal cortex and a decrease in amygdala activity. This shift can lead to improved emotional regulation, reduced stress, and a heightened sense of peace and well-being.

The Role of Neurotransmitters

  1. Serotonin and Dopamine: These neurotransmitters are often associated with feelings of happiness and well-being. Activities and practices that increase the levels of these neurotransmitters, such as exercise, exposure to sunlight, and engaging in enjoyable activities, can contribute to a sense of inner peace.
  2. GABA (Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid): GABA is an inhibitory neurotransmitter that can induce relaxation and reduce neural excitability. Practices like yoga and meditation have been shown to increase GABA levels, contributing to a calmer state of mind.

Achieving inner peace involves a complex interplay of various neurological processes. Practices that enhance emotional regulation, reduce stress response, foster neuroplastic changes, and balance neurotransmitter levels can all contribute to this state. As neuroscience continues to evolve, it provides deeper insights into the brain mechanisms underlying inner peace, offering more targeted ways to achieve this desirable state.

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR