Effective leaders must align their employees’ beliefs and values with the organisation’s overall goals and vision. Leaders must also find a way to inspire their teams and create a team effort built on mutual respect. If you are a leader, putting aside your ego is an essential requisite for a true team effort. Coaches and mentors can often support leaders in getting the results they need.

Putting aside your ego

Gone are the days when leaders led from the top to enhance their leadership ego. Gone are the old days of command and control and being the oracle or fount of all knowledge. In today’s world, leaders understand that it is the combined effort of all that creates really great results. This involves an environment where inspiration, trust, and responsibility are shared across teams, and everyone contributes.

To achieve this culture, leaders need to listen at a deeper level and nurture their team’s skills and expertise. Understanding different learning styles and preferred ways of tackling tasks and projects is a crucial element of putting aside your ego when leading. While each team member should be responsible for achieving results, how they get there may differ significantly from how you want it done. Their way of ‘being’ in the world may vary and be more effective than yours.

A collective effort

To illustrate the above, I can share an experience that taught me a great deal about losing the leadership ego.

I was the owner/director of a medium-sized language school in Brighton some years ago. I had run this school for twelve years and had been quite successful.  I led a team of five full-time teaching staff and four part-time admin and marketing staff.  One of my team was a very astute and capable woman who did things entirely differently from me. Her style was often more effective than mine in her Director of Studies role. I found myself thinking that I knew best and that this was, after all, my school. How wrong I was.

I had engaged a coach. Through a challenge from my coach, I could see that my ego was definitely in charge. I engaged my Director of Studies in a one-on-one discussion and really listened. I discovered that not only was she highly effective, but she also had other ideas that contributed a great deal to the business. She became so valuable that I could hand it over when I took a holiday and left the school in her capable hands.

Leadership behaviours

If we allow our egos to get in the way of effective leadership, we cannot expect to grow others and tap into their knowledge and expertise.  Learning about leadership is all very good, but we must understand and demonstrate those behaviours to be a true leader.  This is where I believe coaching plays such a valuable part in enhancing leadership behaviours because often, with solo introspection, it’s challenging to identify when the ego is, in fact, in charge.

Part of the leadership role is also being able to self-manage so you are flexible, optimistic, and reliable. When nurtured, these qualities make an effective leader approachable, motivational, and highly regarded.

Social Awareness

A high level of social awareness is essential.  This involves putting yourself in others’ shoes and identifying their needs. It’s critical to understand the employee’s background and circumstances. As a leader, you must adapt your behaviours to allow employees to express their views. They need to be able to take ownership and responsibility for tasks and solutions. It is crucial to see the potential and collaborate with them as equals in developing this ability to self-manage.   In doing so, you will be better able to focus on your role and not be tempted to micromanage.  Your staff will learn and grow under your guidance as a role model and develop their emotional intelligence, creating a solid team and increased social awareness.

Time to Think

In today’s fast-paced technological world, we do not listen or take the time to think things through. In her excellent book Time to Think, Nancy Kline states, “The quality of our listening will determine the quality of our thinking.” Listening to others and hearing what they say without judgment or assumptions is a great skill. Listening well can enable others to reach a clarity of thought that can enhance their motivation and engagement.

Conversations, particularly one-to-one conversations, are at their most powerful when there is mutual respect. They invite both parties to challenge their own assumptions. The most exciting discussions are on the edge when disagreements and ideas are discussed honestly and openly. When leaders work on the edge of the unknown, others are drawn in, and they are more likely to find it authentic.

Authentic conversations

So, how do leaders create honest, authentic, assumption-free conversations and invite edgy dialogue? In short, how do they begin losing the leadership ego?

Leaders create ego-free, authentic conversations by being open and receptive. They listen to what is important to their teams and tease out ideas and suggestions. This then enables each individual to grow and increases confidence. When employees are motivated, confident, and fully engaged, they make better decisions. This leads to greater productivity and bottom-line results.

  • About the Author
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Experienced Professional ICF Executive Coach & CSA Dip Supervisor
Specialising in Cross-Cultural Understanding, Advanced Communication and Working with International teams
BOOKS:
‘Coaching Skills for Leaders’ and ‘Coaching Supervision at its BEST’ Both ILM validated

Full Spectrum Supervision – Edna Murdoch & Jackie Arnold 2013

AWARDS: Executive Coaching
ECI & Exelerate